Essay #22

SECOND DRAFT FOR GRADING

Austin
English 8
Mr. Salsich
5/6/10

Hidden Beauty;
An Essay on finding Hidden Beauty in a Poem and My Life

(TS) Nothing is universally ugly. (CM) Someone may think a flower has a pungent, distasteful smell, but someone else may think that flower smells as beautiful as scented candle sticks, creating an aroma in the room, filling your nostrils with beautiful odors, and relaxing your mind into a serenity. (CM) Even when an object is normally thought of as ugly, there is someone who sees the good qualities in it, revealing the object’s majesty. (CS) Naomi Shihab Nye’s poem Valentine for Earnest Man is partly about finding beauty in unique places, and in my life, I often use optimism to turn an “ugly” situation into a “beautiful” one.

(TS) Normally, a pair of skunks is not thought of as beautiful, but a man Naomi Shihab Nye wrote about in her poem Valentine for Ernest Man believed that anything can be gorgeous, even if society dictates otherwise. (SD) When the man discovered the skunks, he didn’t do what most people would do: run away to avoid being sprayed. Instead, he looked at nature’s creatures and thought, “They have such beautiful eyes” (Nye, 1). (CM) Ms. Nye implied this man's happiness when he found two lovely creatures, thinking his wife would also appreciate their elegance (thesaurus). (CM) However, his wife treated his sincere gift like he had given her a bouquet of weeds, and she wasn’t able to recognize the adorable creatures' inner-beauty that her husband saw. (SD) This inner-beauty in the skunk influenced him to reinvent them as a gift for his wife. (CM) “He couldn't understand why [his wife] was crying” (Nye, 1) because he had found a deeper meaning of beauty in those skunks that spoke to his heart. (CM) He wanted to share this feeling with his wife, but she was unable to comprehend (thesaurus) their unique glamour, seeing only black rats (purposeful repetition). (CS) this man didn’t think that just because society proclaims something to be ugly it is; he found beauty in unexpected places and was so captivated by two skunks loveliness, that he thought it would be a gift fit for his wife.

(TS) The lines “He reinvented them as valentines and they became beautiful” from Naomi Shihab Nye’s poem Valentine for Ernest Man, describe the perspective I've taken on some of my past experiences. (SD) Whenever there is a thunderstorm and the power goes out, I am usually watching TV or occupying my time with something that uses electricity. (CM) At first, I become exasperated (thesaurus) with the weather because I have to find another activity to entertain me. (CM) However, I quickly change my negative attitude by realizing a perfect opportunity to spend quality time with my cheerful family (purposeful repetition). (SD) Another time I make an “ugly” circumstance have a “beautiful” outcome is when my best friend gets in trouble with his parents and I can’t hang out with him that weekend. (CM) I love spending time with my best friends because-other than my family-they are the people who know how to make me laugh until my sides hurt, how to encourage me to overcome difficult obstacles, and how to comfort me when I feel dejected (thesaurus). (CM) Even though I don’t get to spend time with them, my aspect changes when I recognize that now I have time to spend with one of my regular friends, providing an opportunity to develop a closer bond and create a new best friend. (SD) Vice Versa, when my parents don’t let me hang out with friends, I have to stay at home angry because my parents wouldn’t let me leave. (CM) However, my outlook on the circumstance alters after I realize I have the chance to practice my guitar. (CM) I love my guitar, so when I reinvent the situation, I am thankful that my optimism led me to playing the music I love. (CS) Whenever an irritating situation occurs, I try to look on the bright side and recreate the situation, making the outcome one I can enjoy.

(TS) No matter where you go, no matter where you look, no matter where you search, everything you find will have beauty in hidden places. (CM) At a simple glance, a rock can seem like an incredibly boring, uninteresting, and ugly object. (CM) However, when further examined, a rock’s hidden beauty lies in its variety of elegantly sparkling diamonds. (CS) Valentine for Earnest Man and experiences from my life explain how beauty is everywhere; all you have to do is change your perspective and the ugliness will fade away while the beauty arises.

Self Assessment
One issue I am continuing to work on in my writing is comma-splices. Sometimes I forget that after a comma there needs to be a conjunction or the comma needs to be changed to a semi-colon because there is an independent clause precedes it. The strongest points in this essay are the special effects. I used many special effects in this essay aside from the required ones, and I think they improve the grace and flow of the writing. One possible weak point I notice is my lack of thesaurus words for my first bell word “beauty”. Unexpectedly, I could not find many thesaurus words for beauty that fit into the paragraph, so I tried to space out the bell words but even then it may sound a little repetitive. I would give myself a B on this essay.