Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Stick essay

FINAL DRAFT
Austin
English 8
Mr. Salsich
10/21/09
Stick Relations:
How there is a Stick in my Life

(TS) Life is like a tree; a tree sprouts branches which will one day fall from the tree and generate pabulum for a new tree to grow. (CM) When most adults get married, they will one day have children, which represents a tree growing branches. (CM) Once children are ready to form their own path, grow their own tree, they disengage from their parents' support, so they can learn to support themselves and in time, support the branches that grow off their tree. (CS) If I were choosing something that relates to my life and To Kill a Mockingbird, a seemingly simple stick would contain many connections to both subjects.

(TS) A simple, lifeless branch has similar features to the knothole in To Kill a Mockingbird, and the branch reveals there are at least two different decisions we can make in life. (SD) When the tree was flourishing, so did its former branch just like Scout flourished with items she had collected before the knothole was occupied by cement. (CM) The nutrients from a tree provide necessary ingredients for a branch to grow, and an empty knothole allows space for objects to be stored for a young girl like Scout. (CM) However, when the space in the knothole is no longer empty, there is no longer space for commodities to be stored, which is similar to a branch, for when the tree runs out of nutrients, the branch no longer has the ingredients to grow, so instead, it dies. (SD) Once the stick dies, it represents an end to a story. (CM) For Scout, the tale that ended was the one of mysterious items being placed in a somewhat inconspicuous place. (CM) The mystery may continue, but she has reached a dead end and thus, must begin a new chapter for this puzzle. (SD) This particular deceased branch starts straight but then forms a fork-in-the-road which symbolizes that there is always more than one path available for exploration. (CM) In Scout’s life, her branch split in different directions when she had to decide between telling her father what her and her brother had been up to, telling her father it was none of his business, or telling him that he shouldn’t be suspicious of them (anaphora). (CM) Scout made a decision to stay loyal to the bond between her and her brother, and she would not tell Atticus what they had been up to. (CS) At one point everyone blossoms, but when we run out of nutrients, we have to decide if we want to simply detach ourselves from the tree and give up or if we want to make the decision to work harder in order to continue to prosper.

(TS) Once part of a tree, a stick prospered in health and grew in many directions and angles, which relates to my own life, for I grow and make choices that lead me down many paths. (SD) But for me to grow I need supplements similar to a stick which needs nutrients to burgeon. (CM) Unlike a stick, I mature from my education, my family’s love, and my peers’ motivation (anaphora). (CM) Without this nourishment, my branch would not extend very far. (SD) When a stick is a branch, eventually, it will diverge, but one of the diversions will stop growing as the other one continues to. (CM) For me, when I learn of two or more different vocations I am captivated by, I will educate myself in each of them. (CM) I will have to make a choice of which one will I want to pursue further as a career just like the stick stopped growing one branch and continued growing the other one. (SD) However, after a branch has grown off a tree for a while, the tree no longer has any nutrition to provide for the branch. (CM) At one point, my education will be finished, and then I will detach from the tree. (CM) But this isn’t the end, for once I have disengaged from the tree, the stick that is lying on the ground will decompose, providing nourishment for a new tree that I will grow in the stick’s place (participle). (CS) A stick is part of the circle of life because it comes from a tree, dies, and makes a new tree, and my life is similar to stick, for I am born, I grow up, I have kids of my own, and when I die, my kids will continue to grow their own, new tree of life.

(TS) Humanity is a circle of life in the same way as a tree. (CM) Our parents have us, they teach us everything they know, we mature into adults, and start our own family with kids that we give all our knowledge to. (CM) A tree grows branches which eventually detach, for the broken off branches will provide the necessary ingredients to make a new tree. (CS) There are so many ways I can relate to a stick, but in a stick’s simplicity, it has a complexity that closely follows the same path living beings travel.

4 comments:

  1. Austin,
    I really liked your TS and CS in your first paragraph. They are clear and interesting.
    Remember not to start sentences with "but" (2nd paragraph, 1st SD)
    Also, in your second CM, I don't think you need a comma after "so instead'
    Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Austin, in this anaphora -- "from my education, from my family’s love, and from my piers’ motivation (anaphora)" -- you might try deleting the final two "from"s, and just repeat "my". It might tighten the anaphora, and thus make it even stronger.

    GOOD LUCK.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Austin-
    I like all the big words that you use in your paragraphs
    However, in your 2nd anaphora, you spelled "peers" like "piers" A pier is like a dock for a ocean.
    Also, your 2nd paragraph's 1st chunk is very confusing. escpecially the second CM.
    Good Luck!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Austin-
    I really like your entire essay. It flows very well, and really sucks the reader in. However, your second CM in your first paragraph is a little confusing, try to straighten it out.

    ReplyDelete