Essay #13

FINAL DRAFT

Austin
English 8
Mr. Salsich
1/27/10

Ignorance:
An Examination of Obliviousness and Rudeness

(TS) Ignorance is one of the most selfish acts, turning people into rude, inconsiderate, disrespectful creatures. (CS) Unfortunately, ignorance can form anywhere, including my life, and it even exists in books like To Kill a Mockingbird.

(TS) The theme ignorance is the most conspicuous theme in Chapter 24 of To Kill a Mockingbird. (SD) The majority of women in Aunt Alexandra’s social gathering are oblivious of their black maids, for they talk about and treat their servants like property. (CM) These women don’t realize that black people have emotions as well as whites. (CM) They sit and converse, lacking the comprehension that humanity exists in black people, seeing them only as property that is bought, used, and one day, dispatched (Loose Sentence). (SD) In particular, Miss Merriweather is the most inconsiderate; she can’t even recognize when a human being is in serious emotional pain. (CM) Since Miss Merriweather didn’t care that Tom Robinson was sentenced to death, she will forever be ignorant of the torment the racist verdict inflicts on black people because she has always been and will always be white, judging others from her own paradigm. (CM) Arrogantly, Miss Merriweather told her maid, “‘You are simply not being a Christian today. Jesus Christ never went around grumbling and complaining’” (Lee, 310), but if Miss Merriweather walked in her maid’s shoes for a minute, she would realize how depressing it is to have a friend sentenced to death and how aggravating it is when someone ignorantly tells you to act more Christian. (CS) Blacks are people too, but the white people in To Kill a Mockingbird have no shred of interest in what they think and remain ignorant, only caring about themselves instead of helping their maids cope with life‘s emotional stress.

(TS) Unlike the characters in To Kill a Mockingbird, I attempt to eliminate all ignorance in my life. (SD) Ignorance is disrespectful, and it can hurt relationships with family and friends. (CM) When someone realizes you are ignoring them, choosing to remain uneducated about their thoughts and feelings, you give the impression you have better subjects to think about. (CM) Sometimes, I notice when people begin to ignore me while I‘m giving an explanation, and I question how good my relationship is with this person, since they think it’s acceptable to daydream during our conversation. (SD) However, I am an ignorant person myself, and I strive to decimate this habit because I am familiar with the uncomfortable feeling of disrespect, hating to be impertinent to people, especially my family. (CM) I, at the hormonal, sassy teenager stage all kids go through no matter how polite they are in younger years, have been given the unfortunate ability to completely block out when my parents are talking (Periodic Sentence). (CM) This capability has proven completely derogatory because in the end, I get in trouble for hurting my parents’ feelings, having utterly disregarded what they said to me. (CS) Obliviousness is purely consequential; it leads to doubtful relationships and hurt feelings from oblivious sons that could be prevented by avoiding ignorance.

(TS) Ignorance is not a crucial part of life nor does ignorance have any beneficial outcomes, meaning it should be completely eliminated from human society. (CS) No matter where someone may be, ignorance will be in their presence, causing problems that could ironically be prevented by being oblivious of ignorance.

Self Assessment

The part of this paper that took the most time was working on my loose and periodic sentences. After reading a couple suggestions, I was convinced these two sentences needed more work, so I spent a while fixing them, adding to them, and rearranging words to make them better. I think the biggest difference between the first draft and this is the smoothness of the sentences. Preparing for this draft, I reread my essay several times and worked on the flow so the reader would have an easy time reading my essay without being confused or disgruntled. In my essay, I particularly like my concluding sentences for my body paragraphs because I feel like I succeeded in wrapping up the paragraphs in stellar sentences. Even though I think the sentences flow pretty well, they may have some words that they don’t need in their that if removed, would tighten the sentence.

Essay #12

FINAL DRAFT

Austin
English 8
Mr. Salsich
1/21/10

Atticus’s Statement after he Returns from the Courthouse:
An Essay on a Quote from To Kill a Mockingbird

(TS) Without the periods of time people use to meditate, life would be chaos. (CM) It is absolutely essential, that there is a moment, brief or extensive, where we can contemplate our thoughts. (CM) These moments are necessary to our well being, for without them, people would never find a way or understand how to resolve circumstances. (CS) A character named Atticus from the novel To Kill a Mockingbird says something simple, yet his statement has a deep meaning of meditation that anyone can relate to.

(TS) In the novel, Atticus’s statement, “I’m not bitter, just tired. I’m going to bed” (Lee, 285) has interesting implications for the entire novel and myself. (SD) First of all, Atticus implied he just needed time to think over what just happened in the courthouse. (CM) This relates to the rest of the characters because sometimes they need a moment or two to mull over what they have going on in their lives. (CM) When their lives are void of opportunities to reflect, they lead to Atticus‘s exhaustion, and interrupted sleep. (SD) In particular, Dill, having witnessed rudeness and cruelty during Tom’s case, needed a moment to think about how people could be so sinister and how he would cope (S-V split). Without that moment, there would have been turmoil in his heart, and he wouldn’t have returned to the courtroom. (CM) Also, that moment may have prevented Dill from becoming traumatized by that experience, but if he had been, he would never go in a courtroom again. (SD) Much like Dill and Atticus, I sometimes need moments to collect and organize my thoughts. (CM) Occasionally, events in my day trouble my mind, leaving me restless. (CM) When that happens, I need to take a break, slow down, and decide how best to solve the matter, calming my mind. (CS) Whenever a troublesome event transpires in fantasy, or reality, there is a simple, brief moment that people require to alleviate the stress the incident inflicted.

(TS) Some of the most crucial moments are when people relax and reflect on their life. (CM) When Atticus lost in court, he knew he needed to take time and collect his thoughts. (CM) If he never organized his thoughts, Atticus might have grown weary with concern that he could have done better on the case even though it was the racist jury’s fault he lost. (CS) Atticus’s simple statement has an incredible powerfulness, representing the fact that small moments we use to contemplate and organize our thoughts, are the most important ones.


Self Assessment

The hardest part of writing this essay was composing the opening and closing paragraphs. I have a hard time determining the best way to draw the reader’s attention, and then making the concluding paragraph turn the essay into a circle so it begins on the same topic and ends on the same topic. The most significant difference between my first draft and this draft I think is the smoothness of the sentences. After I go back and work on the draft that will be graded, I try my best to fix the awkward sentences so that they flow with the rest of the essay. I particularly like my opening sentence because it is a very bold statement that will grab the reader’s attention. I think the part of this paper that could still be improved is the tightness of the sentences. I like to thoroughly explain what I am stating to the reader, but sometimes I get carried on, making my sentence ramble and get a little confusing.

Assessment Journal #6

(TS) In my latest trip to the Boys and Girls Club, sadly, I learned I have to pick which kids are trustworthy and which kids are not. (SD) When I walked in I did what I usually do; I walked, played basketball for a little, and sat down. (CM) However, this visit after I sat down, a kid named Lyrics came over to talk to me and noticed I had gum in my mouth which counselors can chew but kids can not. (CM) He asked me for some gum, and I respected the rules and replied no, but he was persistent and told me he wouldn’t chew it but would save it for after. (SD) This seemed reasonable enough, so I gave him the gum unprepared to be lied to. (CM) less than half a minute later, I see him open the packet and stick the gum in his mouth inconsiderate to the fact I might feel betrayed. (CM) I walked over and reminded him of the promise he made and he simply told me he forgot. (SD) I was angry because it was more than obviously a lie, so I made him spit the gum out, and I sat down at the table next to Carmen, a kid who I befriended during my previous visit. (CM) He noticed earlier I had given gum to Lyrics so he asked me for some gum to hold on to for later. (CM) Even though I had just been lied to, I decided to give him a chance, and I was not let down this time because for the remainder of my visit, I did not see him put the gum in his mouth. (CS) I hope I don’t I have to distrust certain kids and I hope I am not lied to again, but I will give them second chances because Carmen showed me that kids can be trustworthy.

Assessment Journal #5

(TS) During my most recent visit to the Boys and Girls Club, I spent a lot of time talking to kids individually and helping them with their homework. (SD) When I first walked in to the Boys and Girls Club room, I saw the kids playing basketball so I joined them until I saw a kid sitting quietly at one of the tables working on something. (CM) I walked over to see what he was doing and saw he was getting a head start on his homework. (CM) I didn’t ask him why he wasn’t playing because I thought it was a smart idea to get his homework done now as opposed to later, so instead, I asked him if he needed any help. (SD) When he politely said no, I asked for his name and found it was Carmen, so I decided to sit there and keep Carmen company in case he was feeling lonely. (CM) Shortly after sitting down next to him, I looked at his work and did the problems mentally, and I noticed they were wrong. (CM) I tried to be as polite as possible so he wouldn’t be offended when I told him his answers were wrong, and when I told him, he was surprisingly very thankful to know he wouldn’t have mistakes to correct after the teacher graded it. (SD) I helped him resolve the math problems, and he got the right answers this time bringing his homework to a conclusion. (CM) Since Carmen had finished his homework, I struck up a conversation with him. (CM) I found out we have a lot of things in common like the sports we play and we both like video games, making me think that this was a really cool kid. (CS) After this experience at the Boy and Girls Club, I realize that younger kids sometimes share similar interests as teenagers and they can be friends with one another.

Assessment Journal #4

(TS) During my most recent visit to the Boys and Girls Club, I spent a lot of time playing and learning new games. (SD) The first game I participated in is a fairly well known basketball game called knockout. (CM) I already knew all the rules of knockout, so when I joined in the kids and I were playing right away. (CM) Usually I am very competitive and some of the kids were excellent opponents, but I had more than enough fun simply keeping them entertained by having an older kid play with them. (SD) After I finished playing knockout, I sat down for only a moment before John, one of the younger kids who I first met, came over and asked me to play pokemon with him. (CM) I remember being his age and loving the Japanese cartoon shows, but I hadn’t the faintest memory of how to play the card games that were made from them. (CM) I asked him to teach me and I saw how excited he was to accept my request me and play with me an imaginative and amusing game of cards. (SD) The final game I played with the children was a game called jackpot where there was one ball but a whole lot of fun. (CM) The kids explained how there is one person who has the ball, and he calls out different terms that signify if you get points or if he hits you with the ball, you lose a limb. (CM) I had a fairly significant advantage because I was taller than all the kids and could reach for the catch the ball higher than they could reach, but after a while, I thought that the kids should be the ones having the most fun, so instead of catching it, I would bounce it in mid air to different places to give each kid an opportunity to catch it. (CS) Experiencing all these games, some of which I remember playing when I was there age, brought out the six year old kid in me who wanted to have fun and see others have fun playing simple but entertaining games.

Loyalty Essay

FINAL DRAFT

Austin
English 8
Mr. Salsich
1/19/10

Loyalty:
The Key to Maintaining Friendship

The characters in To Kill a Mockingbird all have loyalty for one another, but the loyalty and companionship between Dill and Scout is the greatest. When Scout and Dill first met, Scout didn’t know what to make of Dill. Little did Scout know, a deep and strong bond would form between these two companions, making them loyal to each other as long as their ligature remained. During Mr. Gilmer’s cross examination of Mr. Tom Robinson, Dill was sick to his stomach listening to the verbal assaults Mr. Gilmer launched at Tom. Even though Jem, Scout’s brother, made Scout take Dill out of the courtroom to recover from the atrocities committed by Mr. Gilmer, Scout didn’t verbally retaliate. She is a strong headed young girl, so for her to be easily persuaded to take care of Dill and miss some of the cross-examination says how loyal she is to Dill. She wants to make sure he is content before they go back, and so she offers ideas like, “Come on out under the trees, heat got you, I expect” (Lee, 265) that might help him feel better. Scout and Dill have a fathomless connection of loyalty that will continue to amplify as they mature and their love for one another grows more powerful.

Loyalty greatly impacts my life as it does in To Kill a Mockingbird: with family and friends. When it comes to my immediate family, loyalty coincides with respect. Typically, if my parents ask me to do something, I am loyal and respect their request. It is an essential part of my life to be loyal and respectful to my parents since they are my superiors who provide for me, who take care of me, and who love me unconditionally. Being trustworthy to my parents plays a major role in my life, and being reliable for my friends plays an almost equally vital role. Most of my friends are close to me, and when I’m considerably fickle, my conscience is in ruin because I feel like I’ve betrayed them. The feeling of betrayal is the feeling earned from disloyalty, so when you feel disloyal, your friends will feel betrayed. It’s hard to revive a friendship after infidelity, which is why being loyal to my friends makes my life so much better. Without loyalty in my life, there would be chaos, which makes faithfulness so significant in my relationships with family and friends.

Assessment Journal #3

(TS) This was my third visit to the Boys and Girls Club, and I learned a few new things about the kids and a few things I didn’t know I could do. (SD) I expected this visit to be similar to my other ones, but it turned out there was a lot of unfamiliar territory I hadn’t yet discovered. (CM) As usual, the kids all greeted me yelling, “Hi Mr. Austin!”, so I expected them to act like they had the last few visits: polite and somewhat well behaved. (CM) The older kids met both of these standards, but when I went into the music room to work with the little kids, who are in first grade through third grade, I was shocked at how noisy and spastic they were. (SD) Because of this poor behavior, they had trouble sitting down, staying down, and keeping quiet, making this the moment I learned something new. (CM) At this time, the adult counselors and a couple of my classmates, who are also helping the Boys and Girls Club, were trying to get the children to settle down but were having trouble with this, so I decided to help. (CM) The boys were being the most disruptive and continuing to talk, so when I told them to be quiet a couple times, they listened. It took me a minute but I learned that the other counselors were female so the boys had trouble listening to them, but since I’m a boy too they didn’t mind listening to me. (SD) However, this one boy in particular had become too fond of me to the point that he didn’t take me seriously. (CM) When it’s not time to sit down and pay attention, this boy is amusing and fun to hang out with, but when the counselors want everyone to be quiet he just doesn’t listen. (CM) Surprisingly, I wasn’t mad or frustrated with him, and that is when I learned I had a high tolerance for children in general because I’ve never been aggravated at any of them. (CS) Every time I visit I gain a new experience and learn at least one new thing, so I wonder what there will be in store for me next time.